This coming Friday, Sept. 7th, I will be getting married. Everything has been really crazy in the last couple weeks. Seems like everything is trying to keep us from getting married. We've been in more arguments lately and it's been ugly. But, I know it's just the devil trying to stop us because he hates marriage. Marriage is an example of Christ's relationship with the church. We are His bride and a good marriage is to reflect that relationship. A husband is to be willing to lay down his life for his wife just as Christ laid down His for the church. A wife is to be submissive to the authority of the husband just as we the church are to be submissive to Christ's authority. Marriage is a holy union and the devil hates it. So, I think that's what's been going on with us. Everything from money, kids, the loss of our daughter, in-laws, and everything in between has been stirring up arguments and stressing us.
Also, I've been stressing because I'm nervous. My last marriage was a disaster. It fell apart in a matter of a few months and ended under a year. So, I'm afraid of a repeat and of course the devil likes to use our fears against us and amplify them to discourage us and keep us from the will of God. I have to remind myself of that when he throws those "what if" thoughts at me. I know this one will be a marriage that lasts. I'm saved now and doing all I can to become a godly man for my new wife and our family. I think that's ever more why the devil keeps throwing things at us to divide us. But, I know in my heart that I've got an amazing woman who loves me deeply, even though I drive her nuts. She's really beyond words and I am very excited to be uniting in marriage with her. She is truly amazing and no one has ever stuck closer by me through the worst of times like her. I really feel like we are already one. I am very blessed and honored that she has chosen me to be her husband and I pray daily that I can be everything she needs and everything God commands me to be for her. There's a lot of responsibility placed on the husband and sometimes it can be overwhelming, but at the same time it is exciting. I'm definitely ready to have the wife I've always dreamed of and no one else could even come close. She's my world and I thank God for her. I pray I have many, many years with her. Just wouldn't be any kind of life without her. She really is my soul mate.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Being Obedient to God
1 Samuel 13:1-14 (NIV)
1 Saul was [thirty] years old when he became king, and he reigned over Israel [forty-] two years. 2 Saul chose three thousand men from Israel; two thousand were with him at Micmash and in the hill country of Bethel, and a thousand were with Jonathan at Gibeah in Benjamin. The rest of the men he sent back to their homes. 3 Jonathan attacked the Philistine outpost at Geba, and the Philistines heard about it. Then Saul had the trumpet blown throughout the land and said, "Let the Hebrews hear!" 4So all Israel heard the news: "Saul has attacked the Philistine outpost, and now Israel has become a stench to the Philistines." And the people were summoned to join Saul at Gilgal. 5 The Philistines assembled to fight Israel, with three thousand chariots, six thousand charioteers, and soldiers as numerous as the sand on the seashore. They went up and camped at Micmash, east of Beth Aven. 6 When the men of Israel saw that their situation was critical and that their army was hard pressed, they hid in caves and thickets, among the rocks, and in pits and cisterns.7 Some Hebrews even crossed the Jordan to the land of Gad and Gilead. Saul remained at Gilgal, and all the troops with him were quaking with fear. 8 He waited seven days, the time set by Samuel; but Samuel did not come to Gilgal, and Saul's men began to scatter. 9 So he said, "Bring me the burnt offering and the fellowship offerings. " And Saul offered up the burnt offering. 10 Just as he finished making the offering, Samuel arrived, and Saul went out to greet him. 11 "What have you done?" asked Samuel. Saul replied, "When I saw that the men were scattering, and that you did not come at the set time, and that the Philistines were assembling at Micmash, 12 I thought, 'Now the Philistines will come down against me at Gilgal, and I have not sought the LORD's favor.' So I felt compelled to offer the burnt offering." 13"You acted foolishly," Samuel said. "You have not kept the command the LORD your God gave you; if you had, he would have established your kingdom over Israel for all time. 14 But now your kingdom will not endure; the LORD has sought out a man after his own heart and appointed him leader of his people, because you have not kept the LORD's command."
Saul was in a very difficult situation. His men were deathly afraid of the Philistine army and were hiding everywhere they could. He waited on Samuel for the seven days that Samuel commanded. When Samuel didn't show up on time and Saul's men started to scatter, what did he do? He went and did his own thing. He decided he would offer up the burnt offering himself and have God's favor. Right after this Samuel shows up. He tells Saul that had he been obedient and just waited his reign over Israel would have been permenantly established that day. Even though everything seemed to be against him and the odds were overwhelming, God was going to establish Saul permenantly that day for all time. But, Saul disobeyed.
How many times have we came to a point in life where it looked like we were done for and God wasn't showing up "on time" for us like Samuel? Then we go and panic and just decide we're going to have to do it on our own and save ourselves. I think we can learn from this story about Saul's failure that if we will wait in faith on the Lord and be obedient to what he tells us to do, then he's going to deliver us from whatever it is that we're up against. This happens over and over in the Old Testament. Time and again it looks like Israel will be defeated, but there's always a man willing to obey God no matter what. And time and again when His people obey Him, God delivers them from their enemies.
If you got something going on and it seems like there's no way out and no way of overcoming it, just wait in faith on the Lord. Do no try to do it on your own. Be obedient and He will deliver you. He doesn't operate on our time. He never shows up late. He is always, ALWAYS on time. Just wait. I know it's hard to do, but I've read it over and over in the Old Testament. When it looks as all is lost, one man obeying God will bring deliverance. I want to be that man for my family. I want to be the one who does whatever it is God is asking and brings blessings and deliverance to my home.
1 Saul was [thirty] years old when he became king, and he reigned over Israel [forty-] two years. 2 Saul chose three thousand men from Israel; two thousand were with him at Micmash and in the hill country of Bethel, and a thousand were with Jonathan at Gibeah in Benjamin. The rest of the men he sent back to their homes. 3 Jonathan attacked the Philistine outpost at Geba, and the Philistines heard about it. Then Saul had the trumpet blown throughout the land and said, "Let the Hebrews hear!" 4So all Israel heard the news: "Saul has attacked the Philistine outpost, and now Israel has become a stench to the Philistines." And the people were summoned to join Saul at Gilgal. 5 The Philistines assembled to fight Israel, with three thousand chariots, six thousand charioteers, and soldiers as numerous as the sand on the seashore. They went up and camped at Micmash, east of Beth Aven. 6 When the men of Israel saw that their situation was critical and that their army was hard pressed, they hid in caves and thickets, among the rocks, and in pits and cisterns.7 Some Hebrews even crossed the Jordan to the land of Gad and Gilead. Saul remained at Gilgal, and all the troops with him were quaking with fear. 8 He waited seven days, the time set by Samuel; but Samuel did not come to Gilgal, and Saul's men began to scatter. 9 So he said, "Bring me the burnt offering and the fellowship offerings. " And Saul offered up the burnt offering. 10 Just as he finished making the offering, Samuel arrived, and Saul went out to greet him. 11 "What have you done?" asked Samuel. Saul replied, "When I saw that the men were scattering, and that you did not come at the set time, and that the Philistines were assembling at Micmash, 12 I thought, 'Now the Philistines will come down against me at Gilgal, and I have not sought the LORD's favor.' So I felt compelled to offer the burnt offering." 13"You acted foolishly," Samuel said. "You have not kept the command the LORD your God gave you; if you had, he would have established your kingdom over Israel for all time. 14 But now your kingdom will not endure; the LORD has sought out a man after his own heart and appointed him leader of his people, because you have not kept the LORD's command."
Saul was in a very difficult situation. His men were deathly afraid of the Philistine army and were hiding everywhere they could. He waited on Samuel for the seven days that Samuel commanded. When Samuel didn't show up on time and Saul's men started to scatter, what did he do? He went and did his own thing. He decided he would offer up the burnt offering himself and have God's favor. Right after this Samuel shows up. He tells Saul that had he been obedient and just waited his reign over Israel would have been permenantly established that day. Even though everything seemed to be against him and the odds were overwhelming, God was going to establish Saul permenantly that day for all time. But, Saul disobeyed.
How many times have we came to a point in life where it looked like we were done for and God wasn't showing up "on time" for us like Samuel? Then we go and panic and just decide we're going to have to do it on our own and save ourselves. I think we can learn from this story about Saul's failure that if we will wait in faith on the Lord and be obedient to what he tells us to do, then he's going to deliver us from whatever it is that we're up against. This happens over and over in the Old Testament. Time and again it looks like Israel will be defeated, but there's always a man willing to obey God no matter what. And time and again when His people obey Him, God delivers them from their enemies.
If you got something going on and it seems like there's no way out and no way of overcoming it, just wait in faith on the Lord. Do no try to do it on your own. Be obedient and He will deliver you. He doesn't operate on our time. He never shows up late. He is always, ALWAYS on time. Just wait. I know it's hard to do, but I've read it over and over in the Old Testament. When it looks as all is lost, one man obeying God will bring deliverance. I want to be that man for my family. I want to be the one who does whatever it is God is asking and brings blessings and deliverance to my home.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Hope
Philippians 1:6
"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
What I want to write about today is something I've heard preached about in my church not that long ago. Sometimes you don't feel saved. Sometimes I don't feel saved. There's still a lot of issues I have to work out and get better at with myself as a Christian. Some days it feels like I'll never get better or that really I'm no better than I was before I got saved.
For a long time I dealt with doubts about whether I was saved or not. Honestly, I know now I wasn't. I tried to be for years and tried to convince myself and others that I was. Just over a month ago my daughter passed away. I had really been having doubts and confusion about my salvation before it happened. After she left us to be with God I had had enough of the confusion and doubting. I had to know for sure. I had to know that one day I was going to see her again in Heaven. My heart was broken and I had to do something.
That Sunday morning before her funeral in my men's Sunday school class I expressed my doubt and my desire to know right then if I was saved and was going to be reunited with my little girl again one day. I broke down. My pastor and the other men there prayed with me and walked me through the plan of salvation. I begged Jesus to come into my heart and save me and give me assurance that I was saved. I gave my whole being to Him. And a peace came over me and I knew I wasn't lost anymore and I knew I would see her again. This is not to say that I only wanted to be saved so that I could see her again. Her passing brought me to the place I needed to be to surrender it all to Him and truly accept Him as my Savior.
But, since then there's been a lot of days I've felt like I'm no better than I was. I've felt like I'm still just as filthy as I was. I've learned though through my pastor's teaching that you're not always going to feel saved. It's not about feeling anything. When you're saved you're saved and the devil will take every opportunity to throw up your past and cause you to doubt. It happens to everyone, which is a very comforting thought. Being still new to this, I have a long way to go. There's a lot of room for growth.
So, I think when you feel like you're no different that you were before you accepted Christ it's good read verses just like this one in Philippians. It reminds you that yes you are still a sinner and you will fall, but God isn't done with you. What He started that day or night or whenever it was you got saved, He will finish. He's continually working on you, if you let Him. That's what sanctification is. You work through your problems and sins and you get better by His grace. You become set apart from the world and farther from where you were when you started. You won't always feel saved or like a good Christian, but God will finish the good work He started in you when He saved you. Day by day through prayer and study of His word you will get better. He has a good and perfect plan for you and He is always faithful.
"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
What I want to write about today is something I've heard preached about in my church not that long ago. Sometimes you don't feel saved. Sometimes I don't feel saved. There's still a lot of issues I have to work out and get better at with myself as a Christian. Some days it feels like I'll never get better or that really I'm no better than I was before I got saved.
For a long time I dealt with doubts about whether I was saved or not. Honestly, I know now I wasn't. I tried to be for years and tried to convince myself and others that I was. Just over a month ago my daughter passed away. I had really been having doubts and confusion about my salvation before it happened. After she left us to be with God I had had enough of the confusion and doubting. I had to know for sure. I had to know that one day I was going to see her again in Heaven. My heart was broken and I had to do something.
That Sunday morning before her funeral in my men's Sunday school class I expressed my doubt and my desire to know right then if I was saved and was going to be reunited with my little girl again one day. I broke down. My pastor and the other men there prayed with me and walked me through the plan of salvation. I begged Jesus to come into my heart and save me and give me assurance that I was saved. I gave my whole being to Him. And a peace came over me and I knew I wasn't lost anymore and I knew I would see her again. This is not to say that I only wanted to be saved so that I could see her again. Her passing brought me to the place I needed to be to surrender it all to Him and truly accept Him as my Savior.
But, since then there's been a lot of days I've felt like I'm no better than I was. I've felt like I'm still just as filthy as I was. I've learned though through my pastor's teaching that you're not always going to feel saved. It's not about feeling anything. When you're saved you're saved and the devil will take every opportunity to throw up your past and cause you to doubt. It happens to everyone, which is a very comforting thought. Being still new to this, I have a long way to go. There's a lot of room for growth.
So, I think when you feel like you're no different that you were before you accepted Christ it's good read verses just like this one in Philippians. It reminds you that yes you are still a sinner and you will fall, but God isn't done with you. What He started that day or night or whenever it was you got saved, He will finish. He's continually working on you, if you let Him. That's what sanctification is. You work through your problems and sins and you get better by His grace. You become set apart from the world and farther from where you were when you started. You won't always feel saved or like a good Christian, but God will finish the good work He started in you when He saved you. Day by day through prayer and study of His word you will get better. He has a good and perfect plan for you and He is always faithful.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
A Hard One
Luke 6:28
This is probably the hardest scripture for me to live by. I screw up all the time in all sorts of ways. I'm really good at sinning. But this one, it's the hardest for me. I'm a very vindictive person and I've done a lot of praying about it. It's a little better, but honestly I'm still the worst.
I've been struggling with one person in particular for over a year now and honestly I really couldn't see myself disliking this person any more than I already do. So, to picture that person and read this verse is like looking at Mount Everest and knowing God wants me to climb to the top. Seems beyond impossible.
My first reaction when anyone curses me or disrespects me is not love. I'm being completely honest here. I'm not a perfect Christian. I'm not even a good one. I would say I'm a bad one, but one that's always trying. It's so difficult to respond in love when someone does things that disrespect you and tear you down and tick you off.
My goal of this blog isn't really to flaunt how good of a Christian I am or even really to tell you how to be a good Christian. I just write because it helps me work through things and learn more from the Word and just to share my experiences and views. I think God wants me to do this. I'm not called to be some mainstream blogger or famous author of anything, but I'm sure He wants me to share myself with whoever is out there. I'm terrible at actually speaking to people. So, this is the best way for me and I think that's why He put it in my heart to do this. Maybe someone will see that not everyone who says they are a Christian is perfect or good. Not all Christians have an easy life. I think the majority of what is out there on blogs just makes you feel like everything you're doing is wrong and you aren't good enough. I'm not here to do that. I'm a terrible Christian. I struggle. It's life. It's not supposed to be easy. If it was, the whole world would be a Christian. But God is always there. Just ask for help and He'll give it.
SO, I'll be praying for the strength to bless those who curse me and to pray for those who abuse me.
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This is probably the hardest scripture for me to live by. I screw up all the time in all sorts of ways. I'm really good at sinning. But this one, it's the hardest for me. I'm a very vindictive person and I've done a lot of praying about it. It's a little better, but honestly I'm still the worst.
I've been struggling with one person in particular for over a year now and honestly I really couldn't see myself disliking this person any more than I already do. So, to picture that person and read this verse is like looking at Mount Everest and knowing God wants me to climb to the top. Seems beyond impossible.
My first reaction when anyone curses me or disrespects me is not love. I'm being completely honest here. I'm not a perfect Christian. I'm not even a good one. I would say I'm a bad one, but one that's always trying. It's so difficult to respond in love when someone does things that disrespect you and tear you down and tick you off.
My goal of this blog isn't really to flaunt how good of a Christian I am or even really to tell you how to be a good Christian. I just write because it helps me work through things and learn more from the Word and just to share my experiences and views. I think God wants me to do this. I'm not called to be some mainstream blogger or famous author of anything, but I'm sure He wants me to share myself with whoever is out there. I'm terrible at actually speaking to people. So, this is the best way for me and I think that's why He put it in my heart to do this. Maybe someone will see that not everyone who says they are a Christian is perfect or good. Not all Christians have an easy life. I think the majority of what is out there on blogs just makes you feel like everything you're doing is wrong and you aren't good enough. I'm not here to do that. I'm a terrible Christian. I struggle. It's life. It's not supposed to be easy. If it was, the whole world would be a Christian. But God is always there. Just ask for help and He'll give it.
SO, I'll be praying for the strength to bless those who curse me and to pray for those who abuse me.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
John 16:33
John 16:33 English Standard Version (ESV)
33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
We have to go through a lot of junk here in this life. Sometimes it doesn't seem fair. Sometimes we don't understand it. And sometimes we feel like it's more than we can take. Jesus went through the same temptations we do and he went through tough times too. He went through worse times in the end. He will never put on us more than we can handle. This verse tells us He's already overcome the world. Whatever it is that you're going through, He's already overcome it. That means you already have the victory too through Him. It's tough to think that way when you're having some really hard times, but you got to. You got to remind yourself that no matter how bad it is right now He's already overcome it and you can too through faith in Him.
33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
We have to go through a lot of junk here in this life. Sometimes it doesn't seem fair. Sometimes we don't understand it. And sometimes we feel like it's more than we can take. Jesus went through the same temptations we do and he went through tough times too. He went through worse times in the end. He will never put on us more than we can handle. This verse tells us He's already overcome the world. Whatever it is that you're going through, He's already overcome it. That means you already have the victory too through Him. It's tough to think that way when you're having some really hard times, but you got to. You got to remind yourself that no matter how bad it is right now He's already overcome it and you can too through faith in Him.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
My Angel Has Been Laid To Rest
My little girl is laid to rest now. Funeral is all over. It was beautiful just like her. I'm sad and I miss her but I know she's getting to do all the things she couldn't in this life. This morning at church I made sure my heart was right with God. So I have peace knowing I will see her again. It hurts to not have her here and it feels like I didn't do enough for her with the time I had. But I'm so blessed to have had her in my life while I did and thank God for it. I love you Madison and I'll always carry you in my heart till I see you again. It's not goodbye, but see you soon princess.
Friday, July 6, 2012
An Angel Lost
Yesterday morning my little girl was taken on home to heaven. It's beyond words how broken my heart is. For years and years I wanted a little girl and that chance was taken by an awful divorce. But God gave me a new life with an amazing woman with two beautiful children. A boy and a girl whom I love as my own. Madison want my biological daughter and Lucy and I are not married but she was still my daughter. Still the little girl I dreamed of and prayed for for so many years. I miss her so much and I always will. I still can't believe it's happened but I know she's in the arms of Jesus and I'll see her again. Until then it hurts so bad. But Good is faithful. Madison I love you so much and one day I promise I'll hold you again.
John 16:33 (New King James Version)
33 These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."
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